Way Down But Not Out

Sadly (or maybe fortunately?) this isn't a gyaru post mostly, but instead, a wonderful time for me to vent...

I am the queen of bottling emotions, everyone close to me has pointed this out several times, but I see nothing wrong with sleeping with my burdens just so I won't trouble anyone. Every time I set a breaking point for myself, I make sure that when I reach it, I am somewhere no one can hear me, and I hope any normal person would agree that sometimes a few tears dulls the heartache for at least a little while longer. When I'm just about ready to express my feelings, to pull someone under the umbrella to keep them from the rain, it turns out that they already have their own issues... my timing is never good. So as a result, I keep quiet, I smile, I nod and agree, and I send them off with a hug and a laugh. But as of late, I've noticed a downturn in my emotions, I feel like any issues I have I can't take them to my friends or even my own family. There are numerous times when I say I'm going to go out and live on my own, be the independent young black woman my grandmother feels I need to be (so why can't I move out yet, again?), but I need the links... the chains that I keep around all my loved ones feet to keep them near, because I feel that without them, I'm truly nothing. 

Even more so, I wonder why I made this decision to follow the gyaru lifestyle... this is my deepest secret, one that I have broken into pieces and given the fragments to four very important people in my life. My (self-proclaimed) sister knows I have a blog, my [younger] sister knows I want to become more fashion-forward, and slowly becoming addicted to makeup.Then my sweet beloved boyfriend, knows that I want to lose weight, to be healthier and fit into nicer clothing, and his simple reply is that he'll love me no matter how much weight I ever gain or lose. And finally, my best friend... well, she kinda knows nothing about it, she knows I own circle lenses, and she hates it, she knows that I'm changing, and she hates it, she knows that now that she's moved 45 minutes away, we've drifted apart into our busy school  and work lives, and she hates the most. This friend of mine, has made horrible decisions, and instead of bringing my burdens, my concerns, my most deepest secrets, I take her tears, her fear, her dark clouds. I sometimes really can't stand what has happened to us, it seems like we only meet up  out of some required formality,  things don't feel genuine anymore. But, as I've said, it's because I don't share things anymore like I used to, we can sit on the phone for hours, and I'll just listen and giggle to all her stories, no matter how disappointed I am in her judgement, and I'll simply reply that my life will never be as exciting as hers, when there really is so much I want to say. Not only to her, but to everyone else as well. 

It gets rather lonely sometimes, I feel that maybe trying gyaru isn't really who I ought to be, that maybe this is all a fleeting dream and that I should give up and go back the stereotypical 'normal' me. But even then, I wouldn't be happy. I reflect on the manga Skip Beat (it's been awhile lol), how the main character, after all her hair and makeup, she becomes someone completely different, someone completely amazing and stunning. I think things like these are what brought my to gyaru, with my confidence shattered, and sick of being a pushover, I feel that this is my road to take and I can't give up yet. There are so many before me, that have already gone on ahead of me, and yet, I cannot learn just from watching from the wayside. God has given me a mind to think, a mouth to speak, eyes to see, lungs to breathe, and so much more. As one of His Children, I refuse to let life pull me down completely, I will transcend above this, and be beautiful, inside and out.

Skip Beat - Because you never give up till you reach the stars and beyond!!

Project Gal Week Three

Hello all! I'm pretty sure I've missed a week somewhere, my first exams are all here so I've been a bit busy, I've been working on this post piece by piece, and I think I've racked up a nice amount of videos specifically based around the eye make of gyaru <3 There are sooo many possibilities, I'm way excited to try them all!! 

FOTD 9/16/12: Off to church!

Just a random little picture post before I head off to church, I bought a nice red blush and new lashes yesterday and tried them on, I absolutely LOVE them!!!! A lot of people at church have been complementing me on my makeup, and it feels nice to NOT come looking like a tired bum for once. As you can see, I've gone for red lips with my Mark Lip Stain and NYX Lip Pencil XD!!! It only feels suitable to give God thanks for giving me such lovely features. Growing up, I was always picked on and pinned as ugly or fat because I was different from all the other 'black' kids. I didn't really listen to rap, wasn't the most fashion forward, and really kept to myself. But despite that, here I am years later doing much better off than most, so thank you Lord for all you've done for me and all that you will continue to do. But in the words of Steve Harvey:

"Don't trip, He ain't done with me yet!!"

Model/Fashion InsPost: Natsuko Togo

So I know I've mentioned quite a few times that I wasn't going to focus on fashion anytime soon until I get my health in order correct? Well, that still holds true, but I think I've hit one of those moments where you can't help but stare at the magazine page for a few seconds... I just had one of those moments. And I'd prefer to remember them as well as share them. I will make posts like these on occasion, it will hold models that I come across and admire or somehow strike a cord with me. Besides, I figured it's about time for me to find actual gyaru models that inspire me by doing the research on my own than steal it from someone else. Below will be posted the model name and the pictures that I find absolutely stunning....

Natsuko Togo - SCawaii!

Project Gal Week Two

Ah Week 2, I've been so tired lately and yet here were are again....

Hello all! Sorry for starting off so depressed lol, I've had this horrible cough for the past month and it's been messing up even my most simple of activities. I can't even walk around the hospital without breaking into a hack attack. And all the darn meds I'm on make me loopy, I think I told my honey bun about 20 million times that I loved him and I missed him.... but I really do! That and this whole gyaru thing.... I'm pretty sure I've hit a wall somewhere, I look at people who've come after me, and somehow I feel like I've been lapped a few times around the track already! It's tough reading someone else's criticism and in all honesty, I get a bit jealous sometimes. But don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up, I'm just low on the motivation tank as of late. The people that I've met thus far are amazing and talented, nothing less, and even if I get left behind on the wayside, I'm not going to cheat and hitch a ride. This is my journey, and it has really only just begun!

I'll take that lol

But I digress....

My second week of Project Gal! Week 2 states to hone in on what's preferred. In other words, what makes meeeeeeee? :3

When I think of myself, in a gyaru style, I can sum up how I want my appearance, my makeup in particular, to look.

• Flawless looking skin, with and without makeup
• Even and natural contours/highlights
• Smokey eyes, focusing on browns and blacks, color for when I'm feeling fiesty (which is 90% of the time!)
• Circle lenses, preferably natural, but even I surprise myself sometimes (actually, I really do it on a regular basis)  :)
• Natural, full, and long lashes. Upon my second gyaru attempt, I really don't like the lashes I ordered, granted they look good on many other people, but I've realized that this look wasn't something I was looking for. Trial and error :)
• I want to keep my natural hair, no relaxers, no harsh chemicals, no over heating, I'm proud of my hair so far, I want to progress, not fall back.
• Natural wigs, but I really like dark browns/blacks.... being gyaru doesn't necessarily mean lighten my hair, it's just a more common style. And short wigs too, another stereotype that's all too common I think.
• Slightly arched eyebrows, I've read where mainly flat eyebrows are more for a younger look, and arch  adds definition and frames the face. However my eyebrows have been f*ked up for years do to poor choice in salons, I don't trust myself to do it, but I am in the process of re-growing them to have a fresh canvas for someone to work on. I say slightly arched because I still want full eyebrows, even if it means not accomplishing a dramatic arch by thinning them out.
• Lips would definitely be based on the eyes, dramatic eyes call for mute lips, silent eyes require a loud mouth! 
• I'm perfectly content with my cheeks, my peach and pink blushers do a wonderful job at bringing color to my face :)
• Smaller/Healthier - I'll continue on this when I get rid of this fricking cough (although hospital salad for lunch everyday is getting annoying x.x)

I think this pretty much wraps it up in words... Hopefully all my pic farming will reflect what I'm looking for in the future, like these for example! (It's official, I love red lips lol!)

Now if you don't mind, my bathtub is beckoning me!! (don't judge, bath oils make everything better) ^O^

Short and Random!

1.......

I see this pop up on my Facebook feed....

My Reaction...... XD

I almost did a back flip of joy when I saw that the first issue of GAL * VIP had finally been released!!!! Sorry, I had to put Niga Higa in there, it only seemed suitable XD I've read it a few times already, and now I can't wait for the next one to be released! CONGRATS TO ALL THE STAFF ON THEIR FIRST RELEASE OF GALVIP MAGAZINE!!! 

2.........

I think it's unsafe to put a black lip liner in my hands..... I've been having more fun preparing my make up for Halloween than anything else, I swear if I could afford throwing a birthday party every year for the rest  of my life, it'd all be Halloween or costume related somehow!! I was replying to my mother's beckoning when she looked at me like "Wtf are you doing in there?" since I was doing more experimenting with my new pencil XD I think I just like the dramatic effect it gives.... and since I've been blessed with full lips in my opinion, it gives me some sexy confidence. But despite that, lips like these don't belong at work, maybe on a date with the honey bun <3..... *sigh* stupid long distance love ;o; 

3.........

I have found a lip pencil that closely matches my skin color = ideal nude shade. After all my trial and tribulations.... after all the wasted money........ the impossible mystery has finally been solved.........

My go-to nude isssssss...... NYX lip pencil in Chestnut. Yup. Chestnut. At least I think so, I've only put it on once, so I'm  going  to have to make sure I'm not seeing things, but I'm pretty sure it's as close as I can get unless God drops a lip pencil on my head and says "You're welcome!!" Hmmm..... nude lips with a hint of black....... I feel a happy fun time coming on!! XD'

4...........

I need to step my game up for the arrival oooooof.........

My dearest boyfriend, has been patient with me and my new fondness of wanting to play first person shooters, needless to say, he probably wants to occasionally shoot himself in the head when we co-op. I can't blame him, I know I suck at it! Despite all this, he's still cheering me on, and now rushing me to continue my practice on Borderlands and be prepared to run around with some friends of his who expect me to be in tip-top shape.... *facepalm* 

This pretty much sums up how I feel currently about my situation..... wonderful -_____-;

I think these will be my random post of the day lol, I'll be working on part two of Project Gal soon enough!! 

Goodnight <3

Project Gal Week One

I'm so grateful for being in a facebook group that I can connect with on such a personal level, they never cease to amaze me :D. With that being said, one of the members, Chaudie, came up with this great rubric to follow to help someone achieve gyaru status based on a 6-month, week-by-week schedule. I think I'll start in September and work from there, granted I already have a crap ton of supplies, as well as practiced a few times, but I think having a guideline will make the journey a bit easier. Here's what's listed for the first month of the Project:

Important Note: I no longer follow this rubric, I kinda do my own thing for now, it's much more flexible and less money consuming!

Stage 1: Makeup

Month 1: discovery & Study

week 1: Inspo Pic Farming

week 2: Honing in on What’s Preferred

week 3: Watching videos

week 4: deciding on What to Start with (Shopping)

So far, I've quickly skimmed the descriptions of these magazines and made a list of beauty magazines I'll be looking into. The descriptions are taken from japanesestreets.com for anyone who's interested :)

1. bea's up - Beauty and cosmetics for women in their 20s
2. BITEKI - Beauty for working women in their 20s, 30s
3. CanCam -  Sexy elegance for young women – mote-kei
4. Happie nuts -  For young women who want to look sexy
5. MAQUIA -  High quality beauty magazine
6. Ray -  Mote-kei magazine for women in their 10s and 20s
7. SCawaii! -  The magazine for graduated gyaru
8. Woofin' Girl - will obtain more info when I can!

Here's a few definitions of Gyaru, including my own personal opinion:

1. My opinion - Gyaru is a form of style originating from Japan with various sub-styles. It focuses on enhanced beauty with the use of makeup, hair, and fashion based on a specific category. Gyaru styles can range from eccentric and random, to cute and sexy.
2. Wiki Definition: Gyaru fashion is a type of Japanese street fashion that originated in the 1970s. Gyaru is most commonly referred to as ganguro, but it is actually a subculture of gyaru. It was popular in the 1990s, but shortly died out in the early 2000s. Gyaru is a girly-glam style, breaking away from traditional standards of beauty by dwelling on the man-made (wigs, fake eyelashes, fake nails, etc.). Gyaru fashion neither fit well with the Japanese traditional culture nor how the media portray ideals of Japanese women. It is often classified as a sign of youth rebellion. Gyaru fashion is typically characterized by having heavily bleached or dyed hair (mostly shades from dark brown to blonde), excessively decorated nails, and dramatic makeup. The makeup typically consists of dark eyeliner, fake eyelashes and cosmetic circle lenses so as to create the illusion of large, anime-like eyes. Extremist tend to get vivid color hair wigs, for example, neon pink or lime green. Clothing pieces for gyaru fashion differ depending on which gyaru style the individual chooses. Popular gyaru models include Tsubasa Masuwaka, Sakurina, and Wakatsuki Chinatsu, just to name a few.

The following pictures are my top 10 looks that just happened to catch my eye, some came from FB some Google, some from some magazine scans :) It's all a random mess of picture I know, but hey, I'm STILL LEARNING :D

Sayoko Ozaki

Romihi

Might not qualify as gyaru, but I love it anyway!

Shizuka Takeda

Ena Matsumoto

Another Gyaru Attempt :)

Just a a follow up to my activity in the Black Gyaru group, I posted another look to be critiqued by the girls. To be honest, I'm  really proud of this look, although I freaked when I put the lashes on before putting the lenses in. I thought they were creepy XD. Once I put in the lenses though, everything was all better! <3 I feel like I'm making solid but small baby steps, in which I can't complain. Hopefully very soon I'll be putting up my inspiration posts!!

Here's what I used for this look:

1. Eyelashes from special-match, an eBay seller
2. Geo Forest Brown Circle Lenses
3. Blue Haven Eyeliner for the lower lids
4. Avon Spectra Define and-
5. L.A. Girl Fine Line for the upper lids
6. MAC NW45 Foundation
7. MAC Embark Eye shadow for contour
8. NYC Highlight side for highlight
9. NYX Cinnamon Blush
10. Wet N' Wild Lipstick in Arrest Me Copper!

Aaaaand..... now for the pictures!! <3

Random Note: Yes, I am quite aware that the lashes magically lifted themselves in the picture lol, hence why it's only a failed newbie attempt. Nonetheless, I am proud ^3^ and this only gives me an excuse to do it again! XD

The picture I uploaded to the Group

Any additional tips are always useful!!!! :D

Cherry Culture Haul! (Part 1) ^O^

Hello my loves! <3

I apologize for not updating in forever! So much has been going on! >w< for one thing, I've started paying for my Fall Semester classes X.x but! I'll be heading to Tennessee/Mississippi (actually, this has already happened lol) with my mom all next week! ^O^ I've never been to either state before, but I'll be sure to take plenty of pictures! :D

I have for you all today a haul I'm finally putting together for Cherry Culture <3 I can't remember where I first heard about the website but I've become an addict that's for sure! There are two parts to this haul, representing two different orders that I placed, there's a potential third one on the way, but I haven't decided on all that I wanted just yet! o.~

*I AM IN NO WAY BEING COMPENSATED FOR MY OPINION!!*

1. NYX Powder Blush in Cinnamon - After a few days of research, I finally decided that I needed to invest in some blush - it's an important asset for the Gyaru look! I came across a video that recommended NYX's Cinnamon blush as a nice color for warmer skin tones. Soooo naturally I just HAD to have it! The color is absolutely amazing, I have no regrets in buying it whatsoever :)

• Color: *****
• Price: *****
• Quality: *****
• Overall: *****

2. NYX Long Lip Pencil in Natural - For the longest time, I've been determined to find a lip color that best matches my skin to to create the perfect nude lip, sad to say that all the browns I've come across so far have an underlying red to them so while the color is still pretty, it's still not the color I've been searching for ;~;. Despite that fact, I did come across this nice lip pencil that I like to use as a base with my other colors, or slick with clear gloss. 

• Color: ****
• Price:*****
• Quality: *****
• Overall: *****

3. NYX Jumbo Lip Pencil in Plush Red - As of late, I feel as if the stereotype of "Hooker Red" Lips on darker women needed to be abolished. I recently wore this gorgeous color to my church anniversary (the colors were red and white anyway XD) and man, did I get some compliments! This richness of this bold color really lets me get into a sophisticated or sexy mode, I just won't be kissing m boyfriend anytime soon with it on! XD

• Color: *****
• Price: *****
• Quality: *****
• Overall: *****

4. LA Girl Fine Line in Black - Felt tip eyeliners in my opinion, are always good staples for any eye make from natural to bold. It also acts as a guideline as you build from beginning to end when doing gyaru make. I like to use this as a base, then add on my pencil eyeliners. Also, it's good for eye tattoo detailing, which I've been recently wanting to try! XD However, I don't recommend this product for extremely oily skin types, or if you're sweating a lot. The color can come off ridiculously easy at times.

• Color: *****
• Price: *****
• Quality: ****
• Overall: ****

5. LA Girl Mark My Eyes in Black - This is basically the fat tip version of Fine Line. It still comes to a sharp point, and you get more color deposit from it, making it more hot temperature friendly <3. A must for anyone  who does the thick top lid in one stroke. It can also be a base for building up with other products, but I don't ever recall needing to do that with this pen.

• Color: *****
• Price: *****
• Quality: *****
• Overall: *****

6. NYX Highlight and Contour Combo in HCP01 - I think the concept of this product is good, but the fact that it only comes in ONE color is very disappointing! The texture of this powder in this cute compact is fine and blends nicely, it doesn't cause much buildup on my skin. While the highlight powder has a mild effect on my skin, the contour powder blends in with my natural skin tone, which explains why my contours could never be seen Also, this palette can get quite messy, more often then not I get loose powder in all the wrong places ;o;. I'll be consulting with Mac or somebody soon and get their recommendations, since I love their foundation and now swear by it >w<. I can't dismiss this product altogether, but I don't recommend it for darker skin.

• Color: **
• Price: ****
• Quality: ***
• Overall: ***

7. Cherry Culture Lip Balm in Peach - A simple, yet amazing smelling balm I take EVERYWHERE. It was a free gift with my order <3 I love to use this when I don't want to weigh my lips down with gloss or lipstick. Despite having no color (or taste x.x), it has a nice shine and keeps my lips moisturized, it just makes me crazy hungry!

• Color: *****
• Price: N/A - It was free with order :D
• Quality: *****
• Overall: *****

This will get updated and prettified later! XD